Sweeney Todd Musical Soundtrack Lyrics
A Little Priest
MRS. LOVETT:
But.. .
You know me. Right ideas just pop into me head and I keep thinking . ..
Seems a downright shame . . .
TODD: Shame?
MRS. LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste .. .
Such a nice plump frame
Wot's-his-name
Has...
Had . ..
Has...
Nor it can't be traced.
Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift...
If you get my drift.. .
No?
Seems an awful waste.
I mean,
With the price of meat what it is,
When you get it,
If you get it
TODD: Ah!
MRS. LOVETT:
Good, you got it.
Take, for instance,
Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop.
Business never better, using only
Pussycats and toast.
And a pussy's good for maybe six or
Seven at the most.
And I'm sure they can't compare
As far as taste
TODD:
MRS. LOVETT,
What a charming notion,
Eminently practical and yet
Appropriate, as always.
Mrs. Lovett
How I've lived without you
All these years I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable.
How choice!
How rare!
MRS. LOVETT:
Well, it does seem a
Waste ...
It's an idea ...
Think about it...
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be coming for a shave
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!
TODD:
For what's the sound of the world out there?
MRS. LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd,
What, Mr. Todd,
What is that sound?
TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air?
MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd,
Yes, Mr. Todd,
Yes, all around
TODD:
It's man devouring man, my dear,
And who are we
To deny it in here?
MRS. LOVETT:
Then who are we
To deny it in here?
TODD: These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called
for.
MRS. LOVETT: Here we are, hot from the oven.
TODD:
What is that?
MRS. LOVETT:
It's priest.
Have a little priest.
TODD:
Is it really good?
MRS. LOVETT:
Sir, it's too good,
At least.
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.
TODD:
Awful lot of fat.
MRS. LOVETT:
Only where it sat.
TODD:
Haven't you got poet
Or something like that?
MRS. LOVETT:
No, you see the trouble with poet
Is, how do you know it's
Deceased?
Try the priest.
TODD: Heavenly.
Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps, but not as bland as curate, either.
MRS. LOVETT: And good for business always leaves you wanting more. Trouble is,
we only get it in Sundays . . .
Lawyer's rather nice.
TODD:
If it's for a price.
MRS. LOVETT:
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow
It twice.
TODD:
Anything that's lean.
MRS. LOVETT:
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal
Marine.
Anyway, it's clean.
Though, of course, it tastes of wherever it's been.
TODD:
Is that squire
On the fire?
MRS. LOVETT:
Mercy no, sir,
Look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer.
TODD:
Looks thicker.
More like vicar.
MRS. LOVETT:
No, it has to be grocer it's green.
TODD:
The history of the world, my love
MRS. LOVETT:
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors ...
TODD:
is those below serving those up above.
MRS. LOVETT:
Everybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors ...
TODD:
How gratifying for once to know
BOTH:
that those above will serve those down below!
MRS. LOVETT: Now, let's see ... We've got tinker ...
TODD: Something pinker.
MRS. LOVETT: Tailor?
tow: Paler.
MRS. LOVETT: Butler?
TODD: Subtler.
MRS. LOVETT: Potter?
TODD: Hotter.
MRS. LOVETT: Locksmith?
Lovely bit of clerk.
TODD:
Maybe for a lark ...
MRS. LOVETT:
Then again, there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark.
Try the financier.
Peak of his career.
TODD:
That looks pretty rank.
MRS. LOVETT:
Well, he drank.
It's a bank
Cashier.
Last one really sold.
Wasn't quite so old.
TODD:
Have you any BEADLE?
MRS. LOVETT:
Next week, so I'm told.
BEADLE isn't bad till you smell it
And notice how well it's
Been greased.
Stick to priest.
Now this may be a bit stringy, but then, of course, it's fiddle player.
TODD: This isn't Fiddle player. It's piccolo player.
MRS. LOVETT: How can you tell?
TODD: It's piping hot.
MRS. LOVETT: Then blow on it first.
TODD:
The history of the world, my sweet
MRS. LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
What does it tell?
TODD:
is who gets eaten and who gets to eat.
MRS. LOVETT:
And, Mr. Todd,
Too, Mr. Todd,
Who gets to sell.
TODD:
But fortunately, it's also clear
TODD: MRS. LOVETT:
That everybody But everybody
Goes down well with beer. Goes down well with beer.
MRS. LOVETT: Since marine doesn't appeal to you, how about rear admiral?
TODD: Too salty. I prefer general.
MRS. LOVETT: With or without his privates? "With" is extra.
TODD :
What is that?
MRS. LOVETT:
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd
On top.
And I've just begun.
Here's the politician so oily
It's served with a doily
Have one.
TODD:
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run.
MRS. LOVETT:
Try the friar.
Fried, it's drier.
TODD:
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy.
MRS. LOVETT:
Then actor
That's compacter.
TODD:
Yes, and always arrives overdone.
I'll come again when you
Have JUDGE on the menu . . .
MRS. LOVETT: Wait! True, we don't have JUDGE yet but would you settle for
the next best thing?
TODD: What's that?
MRS. LOVETT: Executioner.
TODD:
Have charity toward the world, my pet.
MRS. LOVETT:
Yes, yes, I know, my love
TODD:
We'll take the customers what we can get
MRS. LOVETT:
High-born and low, my love
TODD:
We'll not discriminate great from small
No, we'll serve anyone
Meaning anyone
BOTH:
And to anyone
At all!