A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum Soundtrack
Lyrics
The House Of Marcus Lycus
(Sondheim)
(Pseudolus)
"Lycus, I am now in the market for a lifetime companion. Tell me, have you
anything laying about in there, anything to satisfy an Olympian appetite?"
(Lycus)
"Pseudolus, friend and citizen, I have traveled the world in search of beauty,
and I can say with modesty that I have the finest assortment in Rome."
(Pseudolus)
"Show me."
(Lycus)
"Eunuchs! A buyer!"
There is merchandise for every need
At the House of Marcus Lycus
All the merchandise is guaranteed
At the House of Marcus Lycus
For a sense of sensuality
Or an opulence thereof
Patronzie the House of Marcus Lycus
Merchant of love
"For your most assured approval and your more than possible purchase, here are
the fruits of my search. Behold... Tintinabula. Out of the East, with the face
of an idol... the arms of a willow tree... and the pelvis of a camel."
"Next, may I present Panacea? To make her available to you, I outbid the King of
Nubia. Panacea, with a face that holds a thousand promises, and a body that
stands behind each promise."
"Or consider the Geminae. A matched pair. Either one a divinely assembled woman,
together an infinite number of mathematical possibilities."
"And now, prepare yourself for Vibrata. Vibrata! Exotic as a desert bloom...
wonderous as a flamingo... lithe as a tigress... for the man whose interest is
wild life..."
"And now, the ultimate: Gymnasia. Gymnasia: a giant stage on which a thousand
dramas can be played."
There is merchandise for every need
(Girls)
At the House of Marcus Lycus
(Lycus)
All the merchandise is guaranteed
(Girls)
At the House of Marcus Lycus
(Lycus)
For a sense of sensuality
And a plethora thereof...
One is ecstasy
One is mystery
One is six foot three
Two is company -
At the House of Marcus Lycus
Merchant of love!
"And need I add, as all who are of the House of Lycus, these beauties are well
versed in the arts, proficient at needlework, and surprised at nothing."